yeah, i did it. if you take your time reading this, thank you.

follow this: eclipsingbinarystar.tumblr.com

xo

blogger, you have never done me wrong, but i may just have to switch to tumblr. i just like the settings better, ya dig? still thinkin' about it though...hrm.

i wish i could say this and mean it:

"you asked me why i liked you. truth is you meet my expectation. never would i thought that i would meet someone with my expectations."

i love how i will not allow myself to sleep past 9:30 on the weekends anymore. it feels great :)


ps. i am soooo nervous to call you.

could this guy be any cuter?

so, so, so, so adorable. best cover (by a random guy), ever.

Saint John this shit is long.

Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time?
not sure, i haven't talked to him in about a month or so...


The past 72 hours have you been under the influence?
no, actually.


What were you doing at 11 last night?
talking to taylor on my front porch.


What was the last thing you drank?
sweet tea.


Reason behind the last time you laughed really hard?
kev said something really funny in the car about taylor swift.


What are you doing at this very second?
listening to my playlist on shuffle. SO good.


Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
this wife beater might be mike's, but i'm not sure.


What are you listening to?
currently: bridge & tunnel by honorary title.


Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
unfortunately, yes i do.


What's a fact about the last person that texted you?
he got stuck under a desk in the 6th grade and ms.maxwell had to help him out.


Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years?
kenny and i couldn't stop being friends if we wanted to.


Have you ever kissed the last person you text messaged?
TOO BRUTAL 4 ME.


Have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before?
yes, mmm.


What side of a heart do you draw first?
left side.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?
i'd like to say yes and be sure about it, but i really can't.


Is there someone you will never forget?
i don't forget anyone, for real.


Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you angry?
well yeah.


It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
TOMMY FUCKING GIBSON.


Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
there isn't really anyone who i would like to kiss, to be honest.


Would you ever get a tattoo?
yes, a forth would be lovely.


I say boys, you say?
which?


Did you ever think you had the swine flu?
hahaha, no.


Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
my boat got repossessed because the bank people are fucking IDIOTS and don't know how to keep files straight. andddd they fucked up the motor while towing it, but it's cool cause they have to pay for it all now. sweet deal.


Are you dating the last person you talked to?
haha, no.


Have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have?
this is a long survey. but no, not really.


A random person yells to you "aybaybay." You say ..
...uh....hey?


If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
FALL.


Do you think relationships are even worth it?
not until you're old.


Your nickname?
everyone calls me amber now for the most part. i still get "ambuuur" from time to time though.


Does it piss you off that stupid sixth graders think they're in love?
no, i was one of those "stupid sixth graders think they're in love" and i was in love.


Do you find piercings attractive?
depends on the piercing/person.


Does it annoy you when people play dumb?
yeah, especially when it's a big titted girl. what a waste.


How old will you be in 3 years?
22, yum.


Plans for saturday?
pretty much a blind date if it all goes through, haha.


What about friday?
class til 10:45, then going to my gmas to get some sick ass records from her shed.


Do you have any dirty pictures on your cellphone?
no.


Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
i like it loud when i'm driving or in my house alone, otherwise, i keep it pretty low.


Are any of your friends virgins?
ha, yeah.


Do you miss anyone?
jeremy busam, as usual.


Is anything bothering you?
nothing in particular, but i'm sure i could think of a few things.


Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
in the morning, sometimes. but i don't keep it in the shower, that grosses me out to no extent.


Do you like when people play with your hair?
oh my god, yes.


When you're getting ready for something, do you listen to music?
almost always.


Do you have any nieces or nephews?
not yet!


Where were you last Saturday night?
jesus, i don't know. at home, i believe. JEWFRO COME HOME!


Would you ever try being a vegetarian?
i have, and it sucks.


Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped?
of course.


Are you good at hiding your feelings?
not at all.


Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
who knows? certainly not me.


What movie do you want to see?
choke, still. haha. anyone have a working dvd player?


Do you like your cell phone? Or do you wish you had a new one?
i like mine, when it works.


Do you prefer to call or text?
text. i HATE calling people.


Are you one of those twilight crazy people?
i'm sorry, twilight is cool and all, but i'm all about some TRUEBLOOD.


Is there someone you want to be with?
me, myself, and i. it would be cool to hang with jeremy, too.


have you ever kissed someone whos name started with a J?
yes, a few people actually.


Is it possible that you could be pregnant right now?
hahaha, NO. not at all.


Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
shit, i don't remember. it's a bob marely shirt from like 5 years ago.


Have you ever fallen asleep while texting someone?
all of the time.


Do you have a reason to smile right now?
not really, the beatles are playing, which is cool...


If you could have anything right now what would it be?
a job that doesn't suck really hard.


Do you miss your past?
sometimes, but whatever. i like making new memories to miss in the future.


Has any friendship ended recently that you wish didn't?
oh hey smyan sming.


Are you nice to everyone?
despite popular belief, i really do try.

ocean mistake!

pss-i might take out allll my piercings soon. i don't know why, i just kind of feel like it...i miss my septum though, maybe i'll bring it back one of these days...or maybe when i actually get a job i'll et it re-pierced in the RIGHT FUCKING PLACE.

marley

i need a haircut & i look like shit!
geeeeze, being broke is taking it's toll.

NOM NOM NOM
goodnight

I have burned the bush that covered my light
Even though I'm scared I won't burn that bright
But you won't know...

if you still lurk my shit:

you know, i really need to keep this shit in mind because honestly, i am here to make myself happy. i'm not by any means saying that i won't/shouldn't keep other people's feelings in consideration, but i'll be damned if i'm going to allow myself to be miserable for someone else's benefit, ya dig? with that being said, i want to be your friend, i truly, truly want everything between us to be okay. that's all i want, i don't expect us to ever be half as close as we once were, but i do expect you to be somewhat nice to me when all i have is an open heart and mind for you. i want you to be happy, and i have told you this many, many times. so what is your deal? i give you all the respect i believe i should, but don't get that confused with the respect i think you deserve. so why do i keep making this exception for you? because you are who you are, and i am who i am. stop taking it for granted.

got a number last night, CHA-CHING ;D
got a date saturday?!?!?!?
kenny is my best freeeen, got NOTHIN' but love for that boy.
ant, too. love love love my babies.

Still it's all that I want to do, just a little now
Feel myself heavy on the ground
I was scared, I'm not coming down, no no
And I won't run for my life
She's got her jaws now locked down in a smile
But nothing is all right
All right

too true

ha! bowling with the boys, this should be fun :)
fuck spanish homework, i mean 10 pages????? really?
would you like me to bring you some more crack tomorrow, prof. brady?
'nom sayin?

this is not an exit

oh my god spanish has me stressed the fuck out, can i please get a job - now? or something to take my mind off things?

almost there, going nowhere.

something is still getting in the way.

andy hull, jesse lacey, chris conley, and kenny vasoli.

to the men that keep me going, thank you. so much.

really?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

ps - interview for sears on oct 2nd. I HOPE TO GOD I GET IT. i need this.

my ideal man:

right away great captain!

i want a job.
i am dying for some money.
honestly, really, seriously selling all of my shit tomorrow.
i know a pawn shop won't give me shit, but i've given up.
i hate my life, i am miserable. all i want is a job.
maybe someone to keep me company, too.
i've never had so much "down time" in my entire life, and i'm starting to prefer being alone over going out with friends, which is a serious problem...it's weird and i don't like it. at all.


i'm sad.

Was losing all my friends
Was losing them to drinking and to driving
Was losing all my friends but I got them back

I am on the mend
At least now I can say that I am trying
And I hope you will forget things I still lack

Yeah
Yeah

Is it in you now?
To bear to hear the truth that you have spoken
Twisted up by knaves
to make a trap for fools

Is it in you now?
To watch the things you gave your life to broken
And stoop and build them up with worn out tools

Yeah *Chorus*

Nothing gets so bad
A whisper from your father couldn't fix it
Your whispers like a bridge, he's a river span

Take all that you have
and turn it into something you were missing
Somebody threw that brick
And shattered all your plans

Yeah *Chorus*

Time to get the seeds into the cold ground
It takes a while to grow anything
Before its coming to an end yeah

Before you put my body in the cold ground, take some time to warm it with your hands
Before it's coming to an end, yeah

It's coming to an end

Do you miss the blend
Of colours she left in your black and white field
Do you feel condemned just being there?

I am not your friend
I am just a man who knows how to feel

I'm not your friend
I'm not your lover,
I'm not your family.

Yeah *Chorus*

Time to get the seeds into the cold ground
It takes a while to grow anything
Before it's coming to an end yeah

9.9.09
rip - fahsa

saddest night of my life,
i'll miss you, girl.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

JUST FOUND AN OLD ASS iTUNES GIFT CARD IN MY ROOM THAT HAS $15 ON IT. JUST BOUGHT "THE DEVIL AND GOD ARE RAGING INSIDE ME" AMBUM + THE SINGLE "FORK AND KNIFE" BY BRAND NEW. I AM HAPPY. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY.

oh yeah: $48 or something.
i need a fucking JOB.
anyone, if you have ANY suggestions, PLEASE TELL ME.
officially selling all of my belongings that i "don't need" this weekend...
hate my lyfe.

i can't get you outta my head, and to think i've only met you once.
there's somethin' about them country boys, i tell ya.



ugh.

http://www.chickenwave.com/


YEAHHHHH, GIMME DAT SHIT FO' FREE.

SOOOOOOOOO
T I R E D

my current weakness:

up $65, down $6, equals $59.

don't expect anything if i can't expect something back in return.
'nom sayin? dick.

so i JUST decided i'm going to greensboro. i told ant & sunshine i'd go to the kville football game today, but now i can't since i'll be in greensboro! poor babies, i'm gunna get so much shit for this. i love my boys though, so so so damn much. i don't know what i would do without them, for real.

The closest thing we had to royalty,
A chance to break our parents’ patterns.
We chose to keep our teenage tragedy,
In lieu of a romantic palace.
Play tender like a new born baby would.
Play tender 'til the night is over.
I’m leaving you to nurture cherished wounds,
And care for it just like your lover, yeah.

...or i might not go at all. who fucking knows.

ps - i don't give a shit

i want to do something FUN tonight. this is how the next few days will pan out:

9/3/09: wake up at 8:15 - get to class and bullshit while the rest of the class learns shit that i could do blindfolded due to taking it a 3rd, yes, 3rd time. get outta class, drive home...bullshit some more, get in the car, ride shot-gun to greensboro, nc all the while finishing off "i hope they serve beer in hell" and laughing my ass off the whole way there.

9/4/09: wake up whenever the fuck i want to, probably earlyish because my body is becoming accustom to this rediculous act (which sucks - but only mildly). hangout with my cool ass family, hopefully do some cool shit, and eat some good food.

9/5/09: decide just how much i - as opposed to a few days before (actually being right now) love my family and love the southern states in general. oh, and i will eat the best dinner ever because it's the night before we leave, and you know how the south is and showing good hospitality or whatever. (if you don't know, i am very sorry for you)

9/6/09: wake up, eat some breakfast, bullshit, talk, bullshit, hug people, and ride shotgun/drive home with my mother who is the coolest woman in the world. get home at a decent hour i hope, hangout with francesca and hopefully some of my cooler friends, and have a good night.

9/7/09: hangout with francesca some more, bullshit, and talk to her about everything you could ever think of. probably read her some of this book, too. only cause her bf's name is tucker, and unlike tucker max, he is by far one of the nicest guys i have ever met and probably ever will meet, knowing me and how i tend to scare away every nice guy that approaches me even as a "friend". ya! hopefully i'll get drunk this night, too. that would be nice. MMM, 5 day weekends are a blessing to a girl like me.

TUCKER MAX IS A GOD, BUT HE ALREADY KNOWS IT. CONFIDENCE HAS NEVER BEEN SEXIER.

ps - someone new that doesn't mind having sex approximately every day. jusayin'.

i want someone new and fun! somebody NEW. all you boys are the same, so far.
from now on, i will stalk "missed connections" in hopes that one of you people out there are half the hopeless romantic that i am.

i hate chuck norris jokes...but there's always an exception to every rule when it comes to me.

"when you looked back and only saw one set of footprints, that is when chuck norris carried you."

i read that last night in some stupid book filled with chuck norris jokes and loled for at least 20 minutes. everyone else looked lost, i guess you have to know that poem to get the joke and enjoy it to its fullest. anyway, who cares...i thought that shit was hilarious!