Been heavily slacking on posting lately, thinking of going back to tumblr - sorry blogger!

Anyways, today I got a job offer at my office to bump me up to full time at the starting rate of $10/hr soooo needless to say I am pretty excited! However, I'm super unsure of what I should do about h&m! With heather leaving and kat taking her place, I'm not sure how enjoyable this will be - also - if I worked both jobs that means virtually no free time to spend with my honey & family. (which I am obviously not trying to lose.) So much to think about, but I definitely accepted the offer with open arms, I am SO looking forward to being able to pay my bills without being on a $15 budget by every wednesday...trust me it is NOT fun. Anyways, I've got things to do and people to tell so seeee ya!

I can't believe you are no longer living.
>>>
I know the relationship between us hasn't been nearly even amounted to what is considered as a relationship at all, and I know that I lived day to day with the thought of you rarely wandering in my head...but the idea of you permanetly being gone from this world, let alone the world we all live(d) in, well it's simply something I'm finding awefully hard to grasp or make "real" in my head, let alone my life. I never once in the past year and a half have yearned for your presence, your smile, your laugh, or anything of value that someone who is greatly involved in your life might seek...however, knowing that I will never again come in contact with any of those things isn't something I, or anyone who knew you, could ever want to accept. Despite our differences, problems, and very rocky past - you were a good person who was deeply loved by many people. I'm sorry this world no longer seemed fitting to you, and I'm sorry you could no longer find whatever it is you wanted to find. I pray for you, your family, and most of all your mother who in no way could ever deserve losing her son. I don't know why you did what you did, but please know that although you are in a different place, you will always live on in spirit.

RIP Joshua Neil Stallard

NEED TO PEE.
COLD AS TITS.
NEED A KISS.
WHERE IS MY JACKET?
WHY DO I GOTTA WORK ERRYDAY.
JUST WANNA PLAY SKATE WITH MY BOYFRAN.
OR WATCH DEXTER.
OR LAY IN BED.
OR PAINT MY HORRID LOOKING FINGERNAILS.
OR GET MY HAIRCUT.
I'M THINKING 50S BANGS, YUMMY.

this will be good.
this will be good.
this will be good.

applying for a job as a kennel assistant at a vet clinic...oh please oh please oh please let me get it!!! i don't even care if all i end up doing is mostly cleaning up poop cages, as long as i get to play with animals and get paid for it i'll be satisfied!!!!!!!

learning to let go.

in other news, i'm growing quite fond of my boyfriend. he's pretty. and funny. and says beautiful things to me that no one else ever has :3

ten minutes left of work. i've been surfing the web for the past hour.

and i have decided i want to start a dog blog...a mother fucking blog of only doggie pictures.

cause if i see one more trendy ass tumblr overflowing with stupid ass cats making stupid ass faces, i will fucking murder someone/thing.

i love all animals alike, but goddamn what the FUCK happend to "man's best friend"

SHIT!

laying in bed, me on my laptop, him on his phone.


sounds distant, but it's quite the opposite <3

i haven't cried nearly as hard as i did last night in over a year.
and i havent told anyone the things i've shared with you. ever. the run-around has been exsposed, but never, ever have those exact words left my lips before they were given to you.
thanks for being there, guiding me, holding me tight, and telling me everything will be okay.

thank, you.

it's amazing how you can know someone for years, decades, or even ages and have little to no real connection.
and then out of the blue, just meet somebody, that certain somebody - and feel (if not know for sure) as if you've known this person your whole entire life.

what is love? if this isn't love./