jns, i'm fucked up. you know this, i know this, everyone knows this. everything that has happened between us is extremely unfortunate and although you may never forgive me or even believe me for that matter, everything that happened that night was not planned out in my head. i knew he wanted to fight you, and i knew that he might just go ahead, but honestly, what was i going to do other than say "nah, don't do that." you are my ex, and he was my current boyfriend. i did not know it was going to escalate so fast, and before i knew it, i had absolutely no control. i'm also sorry that she got hit, and for the record, if i ever see that guy again i would punch him in the face for hitting a girl. although i do not like her because of her lack of respect for me, it was wrong and i am truly sorry. you were my best friend. and i'm sorry for breaking your heart, whether i really did or not. you're such an amazing person, and i hope that you find someone who truly appreciates that, like i once did. i hope one day that you can forgive me and we can be somewhat normal again, but even if you never do, please know that i will always be here for you, whether you need me or not. i love you josh, and i will always consider you as one of my good friends, even if you never accept me as one.
be good,
amberella
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