^buying this a.s.a.p.!
a.s.a.p. as in...now.
xoxo

I wanna wake up naked next to you, kissing the curve in your clavicle.

You know the stripes on a tiger
are hard to change
And notice, world feels like an empty stage
I wouldn't change a thing

i love the verve

i am by far one of the most ridiculous people i know. it's really crazy actually. i'm certainly not just going to put all my shit out here, but for those of you who know what i mean, you know what i mean. i need to find some peace with myself cause as of now i'm slowly losing control of my life, myself, and my being. or maybe just starting to really not give a fuck in layman's terms. you know? i'm not sure if that's okay though...jeeeez

equus by nature

Allow me to show you,
The way which I adore you.

lost at sea, you and me.

leave me (like you found me)

say goodnight and go

[which is more than okay, when you're
comfortable right where you are]

[the grass is greener]

these last few days have been wonderful,
a big thanks to everyone to made it that way.

nothing's gonna stop us.
- The Starting Line

i can't get you out of my mind.

ps - i can't wait to hold your hand again.

i love my grandma so much, she is the least boring person i know.
my jaw is killing me, about to take some perkiset(sp?) then pass out!
goodnight.

i just want my mouth to heal...laying around with an ice pack on my face is too boring :(
someone should cook me a bangin' meal tomorrow!

nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves so nervous nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerves nerve, butterflies.

"The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult..."
- Alden Nowlan

I believe in the sand beneath my toes
The beach gives a feeling
An earthy feeling
I believe in the faith that grows
And the four right chords can make me cry
When I'm with you I feel like I could die
And that would be all right
All right

FUCK ME I NEED A NEW DVD PLAYER AN SUM GOOD MOVIES...
i have realized that i still listen to all the bands my first long term boyfriend got me into, cool.
i think him for that. tyler perkins, you are a good man. despite our issues, you were cool.
i feel like i am going to bed with an unresolved issue, not fitting for such a good night.
sorry marcus, again.

still got it

blogger killed the quality, though

GRAPE D, whattttt!

you all make me happy, but all i really need are my girls. this is the first time i have ever said this.

ever. (make it count?)

I felt a black man in my teeth, what a way
Jesus is coming, he acts my age, and he always looks the same
I said a good seed was on your break wasn't a mistake anyway
Well Jesus is coming better act our age
And clean everything
And make a seem

Like you never really needed it anyway,
Yep you never really needed it anyways, okay, okay

John spoke a theory straight in to my brain
God damn did you mean to do that to me
Well Jesus don't come round
Unless we pray each day for 500 days

I don't know what you want anymore
No, I don't know what you want anymore
So we can see

That you never really needed it anyway
No you never really needed it anyway
So we can see

That the bottom going to bury us anyway
So I am doing what I gotta to stay awake
Yeah I am doing what I gotta to stay awake, okay

What happens when I don't know what happens
What happens when I don't know what happens

Just stop and go and stop and go till you can't go run anymore
Just stop and go and stop and go till you can't go

Make it seem
Like we never really needed it anyway
Yeah we never really needed it anyway

So we can see
That the bottom gonna bury us anyway
Yeah your doing you gotta to stay awake
Yeah I am doing what I gotta to stay awake

i am so sure that this is the only thing that matters.

in a mood to write, thanks for the inspiration kev.

ha, missed trueblood tonight to go hang with kevin and his friends for a "social experiment." when i got in the car i was sorta wondering how well it was going to go and really hoping i wouldn't regret my decision. i didn't. getting a ride from someone is a much better idea because 1) if you plan on drinking, you have a ride home. and 2) if you feel uncomfortable, you have to deal with it and eventually things get better. neither of these things happened, but that's just my view on that. met a cool girl, katia? i believe that's her name. she just met kevin tonight, cool huh? i thought so. goes to show there are some cool people i have yet to meet. ha, just when i thought i had met every single one of them. right.

so i finished kevin's journal, i mean...memior...haha, good joke from tonight. anyway, it was really good. he asked me if it made me not want to drink ever again or drink even more. i'm not sure yet, i don't really think it is just about drinking. that is what the journal is about mostly, i mean you could open to almost any page and there would be something about drinking on it, but i feel like it was much more than just drinking. i like his writing style. it's everything i expected, plus so much more. he's a really fucking cool guy. i am going to start writing in a book instead of this blog. no one reads this shit anyways. this is for me, and so i should write it on paper for only ME to see. and whoever else happens to catch a glimpse. i want to write my favorite part from kevin's journal in here, but instead i'm going to write it in this journal i have filled with random cut outs. i dont think my journal will be nearly as interesting as his, but i'm not worried. i'll like it, and it will make me feel better than this fucking blog shit. amen.

oh yeah,

sum shit

first time i have ever puked from drinking. last night was quite eventful, at least after i woke up it was. "everyone" might have been gone by then, but it was nice to wake up and see tesha, kristina, and emmalee close by. corey would have been too, but god he was fucked up (from what i could tell by conversation) and passed out on the living room floor. haha, corey. aw, what a nice guy. my friends took good care of me, i have the best friends. i've been feeling that way lately, but last night really made me realize it, and it feels good. HA! our trip to 711 was TOO much. i honestly don't know how we made it there and back, i was drunk the first time we went, i don't even want to think about how extremely FUCKED UP we all were the second time around. i did something to my elbow last night because it's all red and sore, who knows. my ankle is a little sore, too. i woke up with the craziest feeling ever. i can't even describe it. it felt good, but scary. i want to do this more. maybe, no, definitely NOT drink as much, but i want to do this more often. i love my friends, i love marcus, and i love everyone who came through. ha, i feel good. last night is such a blur. fuck you derek brown, what a scum bag.

off to finish kevin's journal.
then reading "bright shiny morning" thanks to marcus, what a good guy.

casual, haha.

limelight

i haven't written anything since my birthday. wow.

a lot has happened, but nothing at the same time. nothing as in nothing worth shelling out in this p.o.s. blog, but enough to say that it has been an interesting past few days. i honestly don't remember any of it well enough to write about even if i wanted to. i've been reading kevin's journal non stop it feels like. more than halfway through, and i still feel like he is the most mysterious person i have ever met, i think that's what i like about him. mystery is good. and he is refreshing to me, he reminds me of a lot of some people i know all combined into one super original/unique person. i have already told him this so it's not awkward for me to write it now.

fuck.
i am so happy. maybe not even happy, but most definitely content enough to wake up and feel somewhat good about my life. it's crazy to me how similar my life (and i'm sure anyone else's) is to a roller coaster. fun and fast, but no matter how many times you go through the same shit, you can't ever avoid that sick feeling in your stomach.

i cannot wait for tonight, everything is working out so nicely. *fingers crossed

isn't it funny how quickly your mind changes?
no, not at all.

happy birthday to meeeee :)

don't go too fast, but i go pretty far

I asked your mother if you were at home
She said, yes...but you weren't alone
Oh, sometimes I think that you're avoiding me
I'm okay alone, but you've got something I need

FML is now fuck, my lungs! lawlz

ohhhhh yeah...

party - 10th of july, get at me for detailssss.

I've got to crucify myself if I am gonna believe you
I've got to promise that I'll finish all the things I said I'd do to begin with too
I've got to make my bed if I am gonna lay with you
Cause a disaster's a disaster no matter what Christian language you drag it through



i don't even know what to say, but last night was great.
hahahaha, ohhh myyyy goddd.
thanks for the birthday present ryan, haha!

i just scrubbed my teeth so hard they hurt, is this what it feels like to be clean?

new soul

making every possible mistake

out of place, but i feel fiiiiine.

love yourself before anyone else

PEE ESSSk

AM TV = the best thing on mtv since daria and all the other old cool shows.

eclipsing binary star

you have no fucking idea.
i love myself more than ever, thank you.

soon my love, very soon.

i wish i had the balls.

landlocked blues,
but i feel great inside.


7/2 - babysitting for $25
7/3 - daddy gets in town
7/4 - independence day, obv.
7/5 - postsecret, but no trueblood :/
7/6 - beach??? i'll make it happen.
7/7 - family dinner :)
7/8 - MY BIRTHDAYYY, dinner with more family & jeremy!
7/11 - parrttyyy???

ps - 1 week until my birthday, bitchesss!

oh happy days

i love how the littlest things make me so damn happy.
elliott smith + the beach = amazing.



"I'm so sick and tired of trying to change your mind when it's so easy to disconnect mine"