JKB

i love my little brother so much, he's such a good little kid. i woke up this morning and he stayed home sick this morning, so i look around for him, and he's just sitting in his room playing GTA. hahaha, he's such a little me.love love love him <3

soft revolution

this house is so god damn empty without you. i never knew it could be like this. i never thought it would go this far. i miss you more than i would ever expect and it hasn't even been two full days. i can deal without one dad being around, but not both of them. i love you so much, i don't know why you did this, and you don't know either...please figure it out. i will not let my brother grow up without his father, i have been there, and it is not pleasant. i am not angry, i am disappointed. isn't that something you are supposed to be saying to me about my faults? i love you dad, please come home and fix this.

REECHMOND

i cannot wait for this weekend. so so so so so excited. i need this! it's going to be great, as long as i can find a hotel for less than $60 or so. thank you tax return, you came in good time <3





LUUUUVIN' my time with the girlz, dorie, where you been @?!?!?!?!

be careful what you wish for

thank you (step)dad, for making my beautiful, talented, perfect, unappreciated, outstanding, hard-working, ambitious, loving, caring mother feel this way.

f my l

wuttttt?

break free, plz.

self titled.

All I want is one more chance to be young and wild and free.

But just because it's real don't mean it's gonna work

this is how i feel, completely.




I was out of your league
And you were 20,000 underneath the sea
Waiving affections
You were out of my league
At a distance that I didn't wanna see
Down to the bottom

I wanted a junction and often there was one
You'd surface face first and we'd share our thought bubbles
And I still believe in the phrases that we breathed
But I know the distance isn't fair to cross

I was out of your league
And you were 20,000 underneath the sea
Waiving affections
You were out of my league
At a distance that I didn't wanna see
Wanted you nearer

Your depths made a pressure that punctured my works and all your fluids couldn't tolerate the force of my thirst
I love the place where we shared our tiny grace
But just because it's real don't mean it's gonna work

I was out of your league
And you were 20,000 underneath the sea
Waiving affections
You were out of my league
At a distance that I didn't wanna see
Wanted you nearer

And true affection floats
True affections sinks like a stone
I never felt so close
I never felt so all alone

I was out of your league
And you were 20,000 underneath the sea
Waiving affections
You were out of my league
At a distance that I didn't wanna see
Wanted you nearer

it's really 1:41am, just sayin'

the only thing that is bothering me right now is that this stupid thing doesn't tell what time i really post these things, the timing is way off. but anyways, tonight was great, i feel like i need to get out more because when i do, i seem to really embrace my life and the way i choose to live it. i love my friends so much, and i love going out with them. i feel like i have been sheltering myself from everyone so much lately that when i do go out now, my social life feels like it needs a ton of work. usually i am the one that can hold a conversation about anything, give me a topic, and i will branch off of it so well that we will still be talking 3 hrs later, ya know? and i miss being that person more than anything. i have always been the one that stays in touch with everyone, and i feel like i need to start doing that again, it just feels nice. and can i just say that i LOVE emmalee's apartment, it makes me happy. throw a few more amazing people in there with me, and it's absolutely wonderful, no matter how "whatever" it seems, it truly makes me happy. it makes me feel like, well, myself. and i like myself. goodnight, i have class at 8am, fml, but not really :)

VCU on da brain!

richmond seems closer and closer everyday. i'm so excited, but i'm also so...scared? i can't imagine living my life without seeing my mother and brother daily. not to mention josh, it feels like the longer and longer we are together, it's going to be harder to move. it's a good thing a few of my friends are moving there because, well, i think i would die without them. anyways, it's late and i got spanish class tomorrow so i need some sleep in order for my brain to work preperly. i've really been lacking sleep lately, and it sucks. time to catch up <3

reunited and it feels so gooood

i love dissssss! it feels good to get along with everyone again :)

lolin' all over da place 2nightz

hahahahahahaha, so on the car ride home from picking up my brother and his friend, they're talking about annoying their teacher who always wears turtle necks, and then out of nowhere my mom says the word "perturbed" to jake and his friend morgan and i'm like, "mom, really? why the hell would you use that word when talking to a 10 yr old? nobody knows what the hell that means, especially not a 10yr old" and morgan's like, "yeah, people use that word! ...but only in the 70's!" and i was so weak! so i was like, "yeah dudes, i'm totally perturbed right now..." and morgan (mind you, he is TEN) goes, "yeah dudes, i'm so totally perturbed, let's go smoke some reefer" and everyone is loling all over the place and then to top it all off, jake goes, "yeah, where's the purple haze at guys!?" and morgan's like, "yeah, get me some of that good ganja, the good mary jane." and my mom and i are both loling so hard....one of us finally goes..."where the hell did you hear all this shit from!?!?!?!" and they BOTH go..."bob marley, duh!"




LOL, this should SO not be funny to me. let alone to my mother. goodness gracious, tonight is going to be so good. party @ eudora's, with NO drama for yo momma. i love not holding grudges.

wellllll

apparently i am a dumbass. black rose tattoo is like, in tucson or san diego. fml. where can i get a good tattoo around here? (fyi, i got my feet done by jim who also works in tucson...sorry i can't help anyone else out) i think this guy mike richards or whatever is supposed to be good. he's at acient art. i may have to go here and hit him up...? this is a pain in the ass. i wish jim lived here. ugh. dammit. and what the hell am i doing inside, still? josh needs to hurry and get off work!!!!!!! i want another blizzard. i'm gunna get fat. ohhhhhh god.

luuuuuuv

4 months was yesterday, how exciting. i haven't felt so happy in a long time. everything is falling in place so much easier than i thought. i love when you stop trying and things just work out by luck. i got my tax return, but my mom never told me. way to go, mom. oh well, now i can go spend $250 on whatever i want/need. my tat i'm thinking...now i just gotta figure out who i want to get it done by. where is black rose tattoo? i have seen some goooood ink done by them. i will find out. or just save my moneyz til the summer and walk to arizona to see jim, lulz. IT'S SO PRETTY OUT TODAY! class from 1:30-3 then picking up joshua @ 5, and then i am determined to do something fun! dorie, where you @?

blah! i need a shower. i love hats for when i am too lazy to fully do my hair. yesssssssssss.

i want i want i want

i need my "Make Yourself" tattoo, asap. i also want a higher paying job with more hours so that i can make dem moneyz and be able to get my tattoo + other things. i've also been thinking about getting this elephant tattoo eventually, but i don't know exactly where i want it yet. (i'll be posting a picture of it at the end of this entry.) i want july to hurry the fuck up and get here already, i want to go to more CHILLED out parties like the one at noel's house that was awesome thanks to zach. i want to go to vcu already, but i know it will possibly end the best relationship i have ever been in, so i'm not really in a rush for that, but i do want to take another trip to richmond with caitlin. i hope dorie can come, too. i wonder if anyone even reads my blog. whoever does, if they do, makes me feel special cause i know i rarely take time to read other's thoughts. does that make me selfish? no. hope not. shit, anyways, i want to hangout with my friends more. i miss them and i feel like my life is turning quite dull without them around. bleh. i really need to write my paper, good thing my prof.changed the due date to tomorrow. lucky me. lulz :)

cats & dogs.

this rain is making me tired, moody, sleepy, and unproductive. please go away, please oh please oh please. i cannot wait for the summer. i miss going out on the boat, and now i'll have a cutie to bring with me. yesssssssss ;)

my life is going quite swell lately. i just need to focus on school and the summer will be there before i know it and all hell is going to break lose. i miss my daddy, jas, and levi. july is so close, yet so far away. fuuuuuuuuuck.

HSD vs. GED

i hate ignorant ass people who believe they are better for receiving a high school diploma as opposed to a general education diploma. OBVIOUSLY they are the ones who needed to stay in school longer, assholes. ps - i love standing up for other people, btw. it makes me feel like i am fulfilling a duty that not enough people do anymore. i love you joshua, and every single one of my friends who have worked to get either a high school diploma, OR a ged. you all mean the world to me, and don't ever let someone try and tell you that you aren't valued as much or that you are stupid in any way. today was good, minus that. too bad it was the last day of my spring break, wahhhh. goodnight!

PS on 3.14

i love my boyfriend more than ever.
by far the sweetest boy in the world. <3

"pie party"

cause today is 3.14...get it? lulz. i missed my friends a lot. it was really good being able to see everyone tonight, it makes me realize that there really are some good people left in the world, ya know? true friendship is the best thing i could ask for in anyone, and i must say i absolutely love my boys. they really are some of the sweetest guys in the world when they wanna be :) so glad i got to finally hang with chelsea, too. she's too cute. anyways, it's late as hell and i am tiredddd.

the sweetness

you know, you lose some and you win some. and some of the time, you just fix things to the best of your ablilty and settle for the "best." today, i finally got a response back from shelby. surprisingly, my words were taken to heart from what it seems. i'm happy with it. i feel like for the first time, in a long time, i am really happy. i wrote to her because well, i had a lot of things to say and nowhere for my thoughts to go but into words and phrases only used to insult her. i feel like a lot of things have been blown out of proportion, and i feel like we have both been a bit immature. i mean really, i'm getting too old for this shit man. i just wanna lay in bed with my boyfriend and watch tv, play uno with my family, or go to the beach with friends and bullshit for hours. that's what makes me truly happy these days. nothing matters more than that. honestly, nothing. i can say that i miss partying and getting fucked up on the weekends sometimes, but really...laying low is so much nicer. plus, i don't wake up feeling like shit the next morning. i love who i have become, and i love the way my life is playing out. damn i feel like i could ramble for hours, but unfortunately, i am beyond tired. whew.