the wondersmith & his sons

Floating on the wind again,
on the tail of my quarry,
on a woman weak for charming men,
who's holding what I need.
She'll leave her window cracked for me,
and I'll draft in like the breeze,
my father was a charming man and I learned it all from he.

safe & sound

i have lost all sense of time.

click to enlarge...HA

sovereign

Type the alphabet and stop at the letter of the last person you kissed:
ABCD

What does your last outgoing text say?
"7 hrs. and where ya workin' at tomorrow?"

How was your day overall?
good enough.

Have you kissed someone more than 20 times in 09?
donald fuller.

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
four. taylor, francesca, my mom, and my grandmother.

Where were you Friday night at 10pm?
at donald's house.

If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
fuller.

How often do you hold back what you want to say?
not too often.

It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely?
donald...maybe?

Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone?
i guess so.

Who did you last ride in a car with besides family?
donald.

Did your last kiss take place on a bed?
no, on my front porch.

Do you think the last person you kissed cares for you?
absolutely.

Are you good at giving directions?
very good, especially for being a girl.

What does your mom call you?
am or amber.

Are you wearing any make up right now?
yes.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
yesssa!

Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap?
a ton of people, actually.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone a lot?

now?

Are you nice to everyone?
haha, i try to be.

What does your last myspace message say?
i don't have any idea.

Is it hard for you to be happy for someone else?
not at all.

Do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships?
eh, it's kind of a silly concept.

What are you doing at this very second?
sitting in my bed under 2 quilts cause i'm freezing!

Have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before?
donald fuller!

If you had to dye your hair a color what color would it be?
uhh, a little bit darker maybe?

Do you want to get married?
absolutely.

Do you ever think relationships are really worth it?
of course, you learn a lot from relationships...or you should at least.

When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?
tatatataday!

Someone leaves flowers on your car, cute or tacky?
eh, cute. depends on what kind of flowers i guess.

Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, pancakes, waffles, or cereal?
BAGELS! mmm

Are you missing someone right now?
yes! i will see him soon doe :)

Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?
when i am freezing or when donald puts it up for me.

How was your birthday this year?
good! i got shwasted!

Any plans for 2012?
um, stay alive? and in love!

Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a someone that treated you badly?
eh, no time is wasted time.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
hmm, earlier today.

Dark hair or light hair in the opposite sex?
i don't care.

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
nope.

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
oh yes!

Are you wasting your time on someone?
not in the least bit.

Where was your default picture taken?
uhhh, in my room.

Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
why the hell not?!

Have you ever had to walk away from someone you loved? Was it painful?
yes, and at the time, yes.

Do you talk to any of your exes?
not too often anymore. gave up on trying to stay in touch with everyone...

When was the last time you talked to someone you love?
about 20 mins ago.

Have you ever slept in someone’s arms?
yes.

When was the last time you got butterflies?
hehehe, everytime donald comes to my door.

Is there someone you can’t go a day without talking to them?
a few people.

When’s the last time you took medicine?
um, does BC count? if so, last night.

What were you doing at 9:00 am?
trying to ignore my dog and sleep.

What were you doing 1am this morning?
sleeping.

Do you get distracted easily?
sometimes.

Anybody you’re looking forward to seeing soon?
donald, my cousin, and my family on xmas.

Do you know where your bestfriend(s) live?
no shit.


Is it easier to pretend everything’s okay for you?
yeah, for the most part.

Has anyone ever broken your heart?
you could say that.

When you say you don’t care, do you mean it?
most of the time.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned?
not really. but things sure are great!

"Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying whether they’ll give anything back. Or if they’re gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn’t something that happens to you. Maybe it’s something you have to choose."

4 days til christmas!

& sweeter skin, there's never been.

ONE MORE....THEN OFF TO RE-READ HAIRSTYLES OF THE DAMNED BECAUSE IT WAS AND IS STILL A GREAT BOOK...

anyways, changed my mind about my elephant tattoo - i still want it but i am getting a ship first. it will be preferably big in size, on my back, and say "this ship was built to last" under it in a scroll. CANNOT WAIT _ XMAS WHERE YOU @?!

pee essssss(k)?

DONE WIFF SCHOOL UNTIL MID JANUARY.
CAN I GET A HELL YES?
NOT "yeah"...BUT A "YES!"

nom.

THE DUKE SPIRIT's very own, Liela Moss.

nostalgia(?)

(such a great photo - i wish i had taken this!)
amoeba music - hollywood, ca.

i wish i could make up my own dictionary filled with completely new words just so i could try to find a better way to describe just how much i love you. unfortunately, words alone will never be suffice.

"yeah, you really wake up the love in me!"

TRUE ---> the duke spirit are absolutely amazing - on one single cd featuring just 12 short songs, they have managed to capture a song for almost every feeling you could ever imagine while falling in love. liela moss is a god. amazing is the only word i can think of...

i love my life so much, i love donald so much, and my family, and taylor. they blow my mind, every single day.

this ship was built to last

Building a bridge across where we live.
There are roots in my ground and i stretch across town.
I couldn't care less if i live in my head.
I've shed all my tears and i'm better than bored.

Oh this ship was built to last, yeah
Oh this ship was built to last.

Move your hands on, release me in love, weather the rain and pleasure my skin.
I'm building a bridge across where we live, i've fed all the hurt now i just have to learn

How this ship was built to last,
Oh this ship was built to last.

See where she goes, that's where we go, the breeze takes my hand, this ship takes over.
Oooooh!
Drip upon drop overflowing the cup, running in light, i whip multiple cries, they echo around all the walls of my heart, yeah worry no more when love leans 'gainst the door.

Oh this ship was built to last,
Oh this ship was built to last,
Oh this ship was built to last,
Oh this ship was built to last,
Yeah this ship was built to last.

YOU REALLY
WAKE UP
THE LOVE
IN ME.

i am so god damn fed up with your grump ass, you are the only thing that can completely ruin my day.

All i want for christmas, is you.

xoxo

WINTER BREAK IS HEAH!
only two exams, then i'm OUT.

wowee zowee

Hey there boy
You're beautiful
Told you so
But you still don't know

MMM, i lub my boyfren. sweetest boy eva!

FUCK YOU SO MUCH.

"you think i'm cute, and innocent, and sweet and pure and tender . you don't have to take me serious, that's what you think.- i can be cute, and i can be nice if i want to, but i can also be something else. i can be everything i want to be, and you don't have to save me. i can do that for myself."

stay what you are

ps - i cannot fucking wait until the summer.

i wish i knew my future, but then i'd spend the rest of my life questioning all my actions rather than just doing shit without regrets.



i love my life, and all that it entails.

hang in there, babe.

ALL
YOU
NEED
IS
LOVE.

this is what i feel like, too, dad.

haven't see this yet, but i want to.

stolen from my father because i couldn't say it any better.

in seeing

there’s a loss.

a certain sense of emptiness

an

infinite

hopelessness

in experiencing life

through your heart,

through your blood,

through each breath.

seeing

lays dormant

then rises

to an awareness

‘til you’re

running,

chasing,

capturing,

a moment

after

a moment

before

many

moments...

before

the loneliness

&

loss

return

seeing...

it comes and goes.

it is not sympathetic

nor apologetic

there is no empathy

it is by nature

natural

the antithesis

of love

the moral keeper

of

ambiguity

OMGzZzZzZ:
JOSH HARTNETT MOVIE DAY, asap.

i guess i am a hipster, i say this on the daily.

back to basics

^TWO TONGUES
WOWEE ZOWEE - GO LISTEN.

tremors - two tongues

My love, I lack the confidence
to say what is on my mind
I guess I'm prone to shake and sweat
confounded every time

I see you do the things you do
Pale and bright you shine

Because I need you here with me
I need you just to see me
I need you here with me, yeah it is only a dream to me

I knew that you could save my life,
without a words exchange
your way with words, so insecure
can barely speak my name
My crumbled spine, and faulty lines
I'm sick and small and strange

I need you here with me
I need you just to see me
I need you here with me, yeah it is only a dream to me

i fucking love TES.

love at its finest.

Q: what is the price to be a bargain beggar?A: so lonely, but always free.


so much has changed since i took this picture,
it has so much meaning to me. i love my life,
my family, my friends, and my wonderful,
wonderful boyfriend.
no longer free, but happy as can be.

you have no idea, my love.

i hate hate hate hate hate when it starts getting dark at 4:30.
i fucking hate it.

MMM, to be in love.

okay, really though, i don't ask for very much. i really really really don't.


REALLY.

i want to fucking vomit!

ps-today is friday the 13th, better be a good fucking day. in more than one way? HA. we'll see...

oh.my.god.

last night turned out to be such a good night, i'm so thankful to have taylor as my one and only best girl friend. there are other girls out there who i love to death - don't get me wrong. but wow, i seriously love the hell outta this bit. went to her house in one of the worst moods possible and left happier than i have been in a while. this weather sucks, but driving around to find a pizza place that had power was so damn fun. especially when i was secretly only wanting chanellos. hehe :)

anyways, i'm in such a good mood today, i hope everything goes well and i get to spend some time with donald today. i'm still bummed as hell that i won't be seeing brand new, but whatever...guess it's meant to be? shit happens for a reason - gotta stick to it.

xo

prefect song for tonight - too bad i won't be seeing them tomorrow.

I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

I used to pray like God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.

I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed.
Now I've made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Throw me that lifeline,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

"They never hit their brakes..."
"There was no time to see..."
"He just ran out in the street..."
"Does anybody know his name?"
"I think I recognize him..."
"He sure as hell paid for that mistake..."

Woah.

So take me out tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck.
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Well save my life tonight.
This ship of fools I'm on will sink
A millstone around my neck
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

brand new is sold out, waited too long to buy my ticket due to lack of necessary funds/boyfriend waiting to get his also. i fucking hate money. i hate being 19 and broke. i fucking hate being disappointed. so fucking over everything right now. i just want my old friends back, all of them. i want all the good times back. i need to take a trip - asap. no school today or tomorrow due to this wonderful weather which is also disappointing. fuck virginia, fuck time, fuck money, and FUCK being let down.

buying a 6 pack of
yuengling tomorrow, suck it.

black cadillacs

haha, it's crazy how listening to one simple song brings back weeks worth of memory.
thank you modest mouse (mainly). can't wait to kiss my boyfriend tonight. GSH2!

i miss you:

marcus garcia, jeremy busam, ashley lindsey, emmalee gough, tesha holiday, kristina sanchez, robert adams, daniel howard, mitchell dorsk, kevin stewart, sean lanier, joclyn terry + her family, the brooklyn boys, that one mean kid cody, shawn shultz, bryan dana, mike koteski, ryan king, adam thomas, nilo deguera, hank kazukiewicz, russel wickizer, tyler rowe, dean kohler, josh kelly, amanda poulter, caitlin griffith, kyle simmerman, ryan pulis (yeah), elliott malvas, chris reidel, ian elba, mason collins, tyler perkins, kevin berard, dylan ayers, and about 100 more.



i'm going to keep adding to this and one day in the near future talk to everyone on this list.
wish me luck! some of you i talk to once a month or so, which is decent, but some of you i have not talked to in years...let's fix that.

truuuuuue

ONLY two more days!

HE IS THE LAMB,
SHE IS THE SLAUGHTER.
brand new on FRIDAY. chyeah!

ah, i'm going to start writing on here again. my journal is filling up with stuff, and this blog isn't. it's too bad really, because although i like putting pen to paper, i really like typing. it's funny to go look at older posts, my life seemed so crazy and out of control at times (maybe not to you, but I really know what happened on all those nights that I summed up in just a few short sentences). it's funny how badly i wanted a job and now that i have one, i'm still looking for more. i just wish i had more hours, i need to be making more money to save for florida, tattoos, and other shit that requires a decent amount of money, that of which i do not have. anyways, i love having a good boyfriend, and i love my family, and i love my job. school is irritating the hell outta me, but other than that, life is swell. hope it stays this way. puh-leaseee.

i'm letting go, i'm ignoring my instinct, this is all new to me. inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.
i love you.

crooked teeth

I'm a war of head versus heart
And it's always this way
My head is weak, my heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say

mr. man

"There’s things in you that are instilled inside of you and you should thank God for that. That’s a good thing because you have a life foundation planted in you. Not that you are, but stop feeling sorry for yourself and be grateful that you were raised in a family that supported truth, honesty, forgiveness, love. Those are all very important things that I would not be here without. That’s how I look at it. As a good thing, a really good thing. There are a lot of weird things that come with it, but who are we to be angry with God?"

I'LL ALWAYS BE MY BEST FLAW.

today was great, thank you, God. i needed it.
having a job is absolutely amazing.
can't wait to pass out tonight...probably early as fuck.
giving plasma tomorrow for $$$...not happy about it.
whatever, today was bad ass. yeeee!

i love this man

BTW: Mott The Hoople - All the Young Dudes...greatest record to listen to ever. journey's greatest hits record MIGHT be up there next to it, but mott wins for now.

someone come lay next to me and listen!

so, i've been thinking and i think i'm going to switch back to blogger...it's just so much more personal. tumblr is great and everything, and i like the layouts and everything a lot more, but shit...looks ain't errthang, ya dig?

yeah, i did it. if you take your time reading this, thank you.

follow this: eclipsingbinarystar.tumblr.com

xo

blogger, you have never done me wrong, but i may just have to switch to tumblr. i just like the settings better, ya dig? still thinkin' about it though...hrm.

i wish i could say this and mean it:

"you asked me why i liked you. truth is you meet my expectation. never would i thought that i would meet someone with my expectations."

i love how i will not allow myself to sleep past 9:30 on the weekends anymore. it feels great :)


ps. i am soooo nervous to call you.

could this guy be any cuter?

so, so, so, so adorable. best cover (by a random guy), ever.

Saint John this shit is long.

Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time?
not sure, i haven't talked to him in about a month or so...


The past 72 hours have you been under the influence?
no, actually.


What were you doing at 11 last night?
talking to taylor on my front porch.


What was the last thing you drank?
sweet tea.


Reason behind the last time you laughed really hard?
kev said something really funny in the car about taylor swift.


What are you doing at this very second?
listening to my playlist on shuffle. SO good.


Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
this wife beater might be mike's, but i'm not sure.


What are you listening to?
currently: bridge & tunnel by honorary title.


Do you believe that there's good in everybody?
unfortunately, yes i do.


What's a fact about the last person that texted you?
he got stuck under a desk in the 6th grade and ms.maxwell had to help him out.


Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years?
kenny and i couldn't stop being friends if we wanted to.


Have you ever kissed the last person you text messaged?
TOO BRUTAL 4 ME.


Have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before?
yes, mmm.


What side of a heart do you draw first?
left side.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?
i'd like to say yes and be sure about it, but i really can't.


Is there someone you will never forget?
i don't forget anyone, for real.


Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you angry?
well yeah.


It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
TOMMY FUCKING GIBSON.


Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now?
there isn't really anyone who i would like to kiss, to be honest.


Would you ever get a tattoo?
yes, a forth would be lovely.


I say boys, you say?
which?


Did you ever think you had the swine flu?
hahaha, no.


Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
my boat got repossessed because the bank people are fucking IDIOTS and don't know how to keep files straight. andddd they fucked up the motor while towing it, but it's cool cause they have to pay for it all now. sweet deal.


Are you dating the last person you talked to?
haha, no.


Have you ever wanted someone you couldn't have?
this is a long survey. but no, not really.


A random person yells to you "aybaybay." You say ..
...uh....hey?


If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
FALL.


Do you think relationships are even worth it?
not until you're old.


Your nickname?
everyone calls me amber now for the most part. i still get "ambuuur" from time to time though.


Does it piss you off that stupid sixth graders think they're in love?
no, i was one of those "stupid sixth graders think they're in love" and i was in love.


Do you find piercings attractive?
depends on the piercing/person.


Does it annoy you when people play dumb?
yeah, especially when it's a big titted girl. what a waste.


How old will you be in 3 years?
22, yum.


Plans for saturday?
pretty much a blind date if it all goes through, haha.


What about friday?
class til 10:45, then going to my gmas to get some sick ass records from her shed.


Do you have any dirty pictures on your cellphone?
no.


Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
i like it loud when i'm driving or in my house alone, otherwise, i keep it pretty low.


Are any of your friends virgins?
ha, yeah.


Do you miss anyone?
jeremy busam, as usual.


Is anything bothering you?
nothing in particular, but i'm sure i could think of a few things.


Do you brush your teeth in the shower?
in the morning, sometimes. but i don't keep it in the shower, that grosses me out to no extent.


Do you like when people play with your hair?
oh my god, yes.


When you're getting ready for something, do you listen to music?
almost always.


Do you have any nieces or nephews?
not yet!


Where were you last Saturday night?
jesus, i don't know. at home, i believe. JEWFRO COME HOME!


Would you ever try being a vegetarian?
i have, and it sucks.


Is there anyone you know that deserves to get slapped?
of course.


Are you good at hiding your feelings?
not at all.


Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?
who knows? certainly not me.


What movie do you want to see?
choke, still. haha. anyone have a working dvd player?


Do you like your cell phone? Or do you wish you had a new one?
i like mine, when it works.


Do you prefer to call or text?
text. i HATE calling people.


Are you one of those twilight crazy people?
i'm sorry, twilight is cool and all, but i'm all about some TRUEBLOOD.


Is there someone you want to be with?
me, myself, and i. it would be cool to hang with jeremy, too.


have you ever kissed someone whos name started with a J?
yes, a few people actually.


Is it possible that you could be pregnant right now?
hahaha, NO. not at all.


Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
shit, i don't remember. it's a bob marely shirt from like 5 years ago.


Have you ever fallen asleep while texting someone?
all of the time.


Do you have a reason to smile right now?
not really, the beatles are playing, which is cool...


If you could have anything right now what would it be?
a job that doesn't suck really hard.


Do you miss your past?
sometimes, but whatever. i like making new memories to miss in the future.


Has any friendship ended recently that you wish didn't?
oh hey smyan sming.


Are you nice to everyone?
despite popular belief, i really do try.

ocean mistake!

pss-i might take out allll my piercings soon. i don't know why, i just kind of feel like it...i miss my septum though, maybe i'll bring it back one of these days...or maybe when i actually get a job i'll et it re-pierced in the RIGHT FUCKING PLACE.

marley

i need a haircut & i look like shit!
geeeeze, being broke is taking it's toll.

NOM NOM NOM
goodnight

I have burned the bush that covered my light
Even though I'm scared I won't burn that bright
But you won't know...

if you still lurk my shit:

you know, i really need to keep this shit in mind because honestly, i am here to make myself happy. i'm not by any means saying that i won't/shouldn't keep other people's feelings in consideration, but i'll be damned if i'm going to allow myself to be miserable for someone else's benefit, ya dig? with that being said, i want to be your friend, i truly, truly want everything between us to be okay. that's all i want, i don't expect us to ever be half as close as we once were, but i do expect you to be somewhat nice to me when all i have is an open heart and mind for you. i want you to be happy, and i have told you this many, many times. so what is your deal? i give you all the respect i believe i should, but don't get that confused with the respect i think you deserve. so why do i keep making this exception for you? because you are who you are, and i am who i am. stop taking it for granted.

got a number last night, CHA-CHING ;D
got a date saturday?!?!?!?
kenny is my best freeeen, got NOTHIN' but love for that boy.
ant, too. love love love my babies.

Still it's all that I want to do, just a little now
Feel myself heavy on the ground
I was scared, I'm not coming down, no no
And I won't run for my life
She's got her jaws now locked down in a smile
But nothing is all right
All right

too true

ha! bowling with the boys, this should be fun :)
fuck spanish homework, i mean 10 pages????? really?
would you like me to bring you some more crack tomorrow, prof. brady?
'nom sayin?

this is not an exit

oh my god spanish has me stressed the fuck out, can i please get a job - now? or something to take my mind off things?

almost there, going nowhere.

something is still getting in the way.

andy hull, jesse lacey, chris conley, and kenny vasoli.

to the men that keep me going, thank you. so much.

really?

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

ps - interview for sears on oct 2nd. I HOPE TO GOD I GET IT. i need this.

my ideal man:

right away great captain!

i want a job.
i am dying for some money.
honestly, really, seriously selling all of my shit tomorrow.
i know a pawn shop won't give me shit, but i've given up.
i hate my life, i am miserable. all i want is a job.
maybe someone to keep me company, too.
i've never had so much "down time" in my entire life, and i'm starting to prefer being alone over going out with friends, which is a serious problem...it's weird and i don't like it. at all.


i'm sad.

Was losing all my friends
Was losing them to drinking and to driving
Was losing all my friends but I got them back

I am on the mend
At least now I can say that I am trying
And I hope you will forget things I still lack

Yeah
Yeah

Is it in you now?
To bear to hear the truth that you have spoken
Twisted up by knaves
to make a trap for fools

Is it in you now?
To watch the things you gave your life to broken
And stoop and build them up with worn out tools

Yeah *Chorus*

Nothing gets so bad
A whisper from your father couldn't fix it
Your whispers like a bridge, he's a river span

Take all that you have
and turn it into something you were missing
Somebody threw that brick
And shattered all your plans

Yeah *Chorus*

Time to get the seeds into the cold ground
It takes a while to grow anything
Before its coming to an end yeah

Before you put my body in the cold ground, take some time to warm it with your hands
Before it's coming to an end, yeah

It's coming to an end

Do you miss the blend
Of colours she left in your black and white field
Do you feel condemned just being there?

I am not your friend
I am just a man who knows how to feel

I'm not your friend
I'm not your lover,
I'm not your family.

Yeah *Chorus*

Time to get the seeds into the cold ground
It takes a while to grow anything
Before it's coming to an end yeah

9.9.09
rip - fahsa

saddest night of my life,
i'll miss you, girl.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!

JUST FOUND AN OLD ASS iTUNES GIFT CARD IN MY ROOM THAT HAS $15 ON IT. JUST BOUGHT "THE DEVIL AND GOD ARE RAGING INSIDE ME" AMBUM + THE SINGLE "FORK AND KNIFE" BY BRAND NEW. I AM HAPPY. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY.

oh yeah: $48 or something.
i need a fucking JOB.
anyone, if you have ANY suggestions, PLEASE TELL ME.
officially selling all of my belongings that i "don't need" this weekend...
hate my lyfe.

i can't get you outta my head, and to think i've only met you once.
there's somethin' about them country boys, i tell ya.



ugh.

http://www.chickenwave.com/


YEAHHHHH, GIMME DAT SHIT FO' FREE.

SOOOOOOOOO
T I R E D

my current weakness:

up $65, down $6, equals $59.

don't expect anything if i can't expect something back in return.
'nom sayin? dick.

so i JUST decided i'm going to greensboro. i told ant & sunshine i'd go to the kville football game today, but now i can't since i'll be in greensboro! poor babies, i'm gunna get so much shit for this. i love my boys though, so so so damn much. i don't know what i would do without them, for real.

The closest thing we had to royalty,
A chance to break our parents’ patterns.
We chose to keep our teenage tragedy,
In lieu of a romantic palace.
Play tender like a new born baby would.
Play tender 'til the night is over.
I’m leaving you to nurture cherished wounds,
And care for it just like your lover, yeah.

...or i might not go at all. who fucking knows.

ps - i don't give a shit

i want to do something FUN tonight. this is how the next few days will pan out:

9/3/09: wake up at 8:15 - get to class and bullshit while the rest of the class learns shit that i could do blindfolded due to taking it a 3rd, yes, 3rd time. get outta class, drive home...bullshit some more, get in the car, ride shot-gun to greensboro, nc all the while finishing off "i hope they serve beer in hell" and laughing my ass off the whole way there.

9/4/09: wake up whenever the fuck i want to, probably earlyish because my body is becoming accustom to this rediculous act (which sucks - but only mildly). hangout with my cool ass family, hopefully do some cool shit, and eat some good food.

9/5/09: decide just how much i - as opposed to a few days before (actually being right now) love my family and love the southern states in general. oh, and i will eat the best dinner ever because it's the night before we leave, and you know how the south is and showing good hospitality or whatever. (if you don't know, i am very sorry for you)

9/6/09: wake up, eat some breakfast, bullshit, talk, bullshit, hug people, and ride shotgun/drive home with my mother who is the coolest woman in the world. get home at a decent hour i hope, hangout with francesca and hopefully some of my cooler friends, and have a good night.

9/7/09: hangout with francesca some more, bullshit, and talk to her about everything you could ever think of. probably read her some of this book, too. only cause her bf's name is tucker, and unlike tucker max, he is by far one of the nicest guys i have ever met and probably ever will meet, knowing me and how i tend to scare away every nice guy that approaches me even as a "friend". ya! hopefully i'll get drunk this night, too. that would be nice. MMM, 5 day weekends are a blessing to a girl like me.

TUCKER MAX IS A GOD, BUT HE ALREADY KNOWS IT. CONFIDENCE HAS NEVER BEEN SEXIER.

ps - someone new that doesn't mind having sex approximately every day. jusayin'.

i want someone new and fun! somebody NEW. all you boys are the same, so far.
from now on, i will stalk "missed connections" in hopes that one of you people out there are half the hopeless romantic that i am.

i hate chuck norris jokes...but there's always an exception to every rule when it comes to me.

"when you looked back and only saw one set of footprints, that is when chuck norris carried you."

i read that last night in some stupid book filled with chuck norris jokes and loled for at least 20 minutes. everyone else looked lost, i guess you have to know that poem to get the joke and enjoy it to its fullest. anyway, who cares...i thought that shit was hilarious!

eye <3 william blake

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare sieze the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art.
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

buy me one, and play with me!

oh hay new jacket :)

thanks for keepin' me warm!

PS - I AM FUCKING FREEZING & I HAVE BEEN ALL DAY. TODAY IS COMPLAIN LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW DAY, BTW.
hehehe

i've been feeling nauseous on & off for the past 3 days.
NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT.
i fucking hate my stomach, someone trade wiff me!
maybe i'm becoming lactose intolerant yet again???

take me here, now. i'm slipping.

what you work hard for may become the sweetest thing in life.

DEGAUSSER,
GET OUTTA MY HEAD.
...just kidding.

plz keep me in mind;;

worst fucking headache in a long time, thanks dad.

i'm so so so so so sorry i'm such an inconvenience to you. i'm sorry for my constant struggle to have somewhat of a normal relationship with you. i'm sorry for being so "out of the way." i'm sorry i think it's completely fucking ridiculous, no - hilarious, that your wife can spend $350 on lingerie and it be no big deal but when i ask for a mere $200-$250 for school books it's a problem. if my education wasn't so damn important to me, i would be more than happy to completely disappear out of your life. trust me. i'm tired of feeling like the red-headed step child. i'm tired of feeling like i'm not worth your time. i'm tired of you never being seriously involved in my life. fyi: i don't care what any of you who read this think, so fuck off if you have anything negative to say about the following: with that being said, it really fucking bothers me how much i care about your feelings when mine clearly don't matter half as much to you. maybe they do? who knows? it sure would be nice to be certain about anything when it comes to you. my mom says that she thinks sometimes you just don't think about things before you carry them out, well you know what? i don't give a shit. you are an adult, yeah, sure...you make mistakes. i realize no one is perfect, and i realize everyone has flaws, but i am tired. i'm tired of being your flaw, i'm tired of being your mistake, and most of all, i'm tired of searching for a dad who's never going to be there. not for my graduation for you to tell me how proud you are, not for my prom to tell me how beautiful i look, not for the days when i just needed someone to talk to, not for the guidence throughout my teenager years, not for the nosebleeds i inherited from you, not for knowledge on how to take a good photograph, not for any of the things i really needed you to be HERE for. i push everyone who gets even remotely close to me so far away it's not even funny. why? because you make me feel like i'm not good enough for anyone. if i don't feel like i'm good enough for my father, who am i good enough for? i wish i knew.

what's cooler than bein' cool? ICE COLD.

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

MMM, ZEE BEAR JEW <333

LOVE
WILL
TEAR
US
APART.

i feel like this tonight, but i'm not about to attempt to drown myself in a pool...
so i'm good, right?

grow up, bitches. getting on my aim screen name, messing with my friends, and prank calling me at all hours of the day isn't funny. it's rather immature. and next time you wanna call me and leave me a voice mail calling me a hoe, check yourself first. not to mention it's kind of hard to feel insulted by girls who sound like men on the phone. reallll cute.

MMM, sooo sexy.

the best movie i've seen in a long time.

Brand New - 11/13/09 The NorVa, Norfolk, VA

going. will sell myself to obtain a ticket.
the only question i have is..."who's going with me. huh? huh?!"
hahaha, i'm in such a good mood. i need sleep now, though.

all i can listen to is brand new. obsess much?

Take me, take me back to your bed
I love you so much that it hurts my head
Say, "I don't mind you under my skin
I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in"
Well when we were made we were set apart
But life is a test and I get bad marks
Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins
The storm is coming, the storm is coming in

sushiiii tomorrow! cannot fucking wait!!! so delish.

yes, please.

this just made me so nauseous it's not even funny.
going to puke, brb.

do i need a fucking disclaimer because i have my tongue pierced? or maybe just a sticky note attatched to my head that reads: "just because i have a tongue ring does not mean i want to suck your dick. thanks, mgmt." i mean damn, i know i brought it upon myself by getting the thing in the first place but really, get a fucking clue.

you have no idea how much i both love & hate this picture and you never will. this looks just like you in the picture i took in my living room when the walls were still intact and your hair was long, those were the best days of my life. you were my best friend, my love, my everything. you taught me what it was like to love and be loved, and i'll always remember that. i miss you so much, friend, but mostly just the shy quiet guy who would stay up until 4am on a school night talking on the phone even though we both hated it. i could write about you for hours, but i won't. simply because i know you couldn't do the same for me. not anymore, at least.

pardon me.

i'm going skating every night with my bro from now on. i love him so much, and i love how an 11 yr old can make me so wanna be so ballsy. best little bro i could ever ask for. <3

i find it hilarious/weird/awkward that i follow about 4 blogs of which belong to people i do not know/never will know and they are all on tumblr, not blogspot. i'm so weird.

done&done

gluck off :)
ha, i love my boys.
they're such assholes.
xoxoxoxoxo

sunny d, peaches, and bagels with cream cheese could keep me happy for my entire life. MMM, not doing shit today and it feels great!

Jesus Christ, that's a pretty face
The kind you'd find on someone that could save
If they don't put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else
But with nobody in your bed
The night is hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well, Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Because this problem's gonna last
More than the weekend

Well, Jesus Christ I’m not scared to die
I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot
Do I float through the ceiling

Do I divide and fall apart
Cause my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark
This ship went down in sight of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands?

I know you'll come in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up
(everyone now)
So do you think that we could work out a psalm
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try
I know you'll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories
But, we all got wood and nails
And talk dirt at hating factories
Yeah, we all got wood and nails
And we sleep inside of this machine

sexual tension is at it's peak.

"the most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them"
-Stephen King

last night:

FUCK!

today is the first day i have woke up and honestly not remembered how i got home. i know taylor took me, and i could guess which way she went, but in my head i have no idea which way we took. i wish i would have puked last night cause i feel like shit today and i know i would feel a lot better if i had thrown up last night. ugh. no headache though, that's something to be happy about. shit last night was crazy, for me at least...and i'm sure for jesse, too. i feel like kind of an asshole for bitching him out but i mean, he did what he did and it's more than okay for me to have given him some shit over it. no more drinking as of now, i drove to class buzzed this morning and walked in 12 minutes late, luckily the teach was 30 minutes late. she must have gotten crunk last night, too.

haha! i love taylor.