my mother's friend once told me that i really need to work on forgiving you. i don't think i ever can, and no matter how hard i try, i don't think i will ever be able to. will this cause me to always be the way that i am now? i feel like i am never 100% happy simply because of the hate i have brewing inside of me. i don't hate you, i just hate how i am not included in your life - at all. you will never know ME. and i will never know YOU. people that have known me for less than a year know me better than you ever will. this is your choice, completely YOUR choice. i blamed myself for so long, but in reality...none of this is my fault. i wish it was because blaming myself and forgiving myself would be much, much easier. where have you been all my life? i admire you for following your dreams, i admire you for becoming who you are today, but i despise the toll it has taken on me and my life. do you know what you have taken from me? i don't know how to fix this, and it kills me.
And all you see is where else you could be When you're at home
And out on the street Are so many possibilities to not be alone
The flames and smoke climbed out of every window
And disappeared with everything that you held dear
But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need
Cause you knew you were finally free
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