can i has it back?

OH MY GODDDD I GOT ALL MY CLASSES SET! SO HAPPY YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark

so i'm sitting in my cousin's computer room in her house and it feels like it's my own home. i would like to think on day i'll have a house this cute to call my own. it must feel great, because even being here alone and watching her animals feels nice. curtains open, sun shining bright, with brand new blaring so loud from the speakers in front of me i could roll across the room. it's nice. it's the way i like to spend my simple summer days. school starts tomorrow, i'm scared i won't ever get my classes in order. it's making me feel sick, so i'm going to stop talking about it. i miss my dad, and i miss going to the beach with him just for adventure. i need to start using my $600 camera that i worked all summer for back when i didn't have a care in the world or any other use for money other than spending it all in one lump sum. best investment i've ever made, by far. my car too i suppose. damn, listening to brand new makes me feel sad sometimes. great band, though. for sure. i wish i had my journal with me cause i'm in the mood to write but only about things i do not wish to write about for the world to read on here. ya dig? ugh, my days are falling short and unfulfilled of what they once were.



"do you believe that you're missing out?
that everything good is happening somewhere else
but with nobody in your bed
the night is hard to get through"

i am officially obsessed with brand new. i want to know everything about them. i want to know all the words to every one of their songs so i can sing along. they have such meaningful lyrics, it's nice to be able to relate to someone i have never met.

went to tcc today, it just made me mad. today has been okay, but i've just been really out of it. i feel like i need to slow down, everything in my life is becoming way too farmiliar and everything is starting to run together - but not so smoothly. i can't wait to get all of my classes straight, i have the biggest lump in my throat and i don't know what to do about it. being broke sucks. tomorrow i plan on filling out at least 10 applications. UGH.

currently listening to: fork & knife - brand new.

haha, so much for teaching ESL!

Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, across the ages, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

I love the intricacies of the English language.

I’m just astonished at how much you learn as you grow older and how it never stops. When I was 21, I realized that I didn’t know anything at 17. At 25, I realized I didn’t know anything at 21. And now at 31, I realized I didn’t know anything at 25. It doesn’t seem to be slowing down. I’m always wondering if when I’m 80, am I gonna be looking back to when I was 75 and going you know, “That person didn’t know anything.” When does that process of growing stop? Jesse Lacey

OH GAWD.

I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to sleep without a single stir,
'Cause I was about my father's work.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

I used to pray like God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out.

I used to know the name of every person I'd kissed.
Now I've made this bed and I can't fall asleep in it.

Well take me out tonight,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck,
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

Throw me that lifeline,
This ship of fools I'm on will sink.
A millstone around my neck
{If you'd} be my breath, there's nothing I wouldn't give.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

if i had money i would immediately buy:

dinner for my boys + taylor
the "new" Brand New album
the "new" The Noisettes album
new clothes because i just gave all of mine away
the beatles edition rock band
MY TUITION FOR COLLEGE
more records than i can listen to in a lifetime
a bigger cage + more food for otis
a better phone that doesn't break every month
stuff to make a fruit pizza
andddddd, love. (if you could ever buy it)

i hate money. i love money.

safe & sound

for now