i'm such a damn night owl these days...
i think i just have a lot on my mind, therefor my mind has some real trouble shutting off. i still haven't written to my dad. i think once i do that, it will take a lot off my chest. kinda weird that everyone seems to be worried about me lately...or "checking up" on me. it's cool to see that people actually give a damn, but all the same unfamiliar. usually it's me who is worried about everyone else, but really i've just been laying really low. i feel like the kind of person i am requires a constant love connection with someone of the opposite sex. the need to care and love (and be loved) is just...in me. i can't get rid of it, and it's starting to make me feel, well, sort of fucking worthless. to an extent. i have no ambition anymore, no drive, no urge. the only time i feel any of that anymore is when it comes to a member of the opposite sex. but nobody in particular. i've pretty much given up on myself, people around me, and every male in this general region. i want change, i want to feel important, and i could really use some companionship. is that really too much to ask? i feel like i am slowly getting everything i once yearned for. (freedom, real time to work on school, less hours at work, ect.) but it's funny how once you get something, it doesn't really seem so fucking great anymore...another night with no one to love. jesus christ that sounds corny, but who the fuck reads this anyway?
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