i don't know if it has anything to do with him. i think it does, but is this me just refusing to accept my own flaws? i am the biggest mess out of anyone i know, okay, maybe not. but it sure is a close call. i date people i know aren't good for me, all while ignoring the ones who might be. i'd like to change that, take it back, and say that i have put myself out there (for the good ones). i have put myself out there on many, many occasions. whether or not you took the opportunity to see that and use it to your advantage is uncertain to me. i dont know anything anymore, but i do know who i love, who i think of more often than any one person should, and most importantly, who i would rather die for than waste another ounce of time on someone who i know isnt worth it. but are YOU?
this is where everything changes. this is where nothing blossoms, blooms, or ripens. everything freezes at a certain temperature. this is us, in a few short sentences. i know you, i breathe you, i feel you, in everything that i do. both of you. one of you tears me apart, and the other sometimes conveniently builds me back up. i am unsure of what i want or expect from either of you, you could just be the same person. are you here to show me how he is? or is he there to keep me from learning? i am exhausted. i do not want to try. i don't want to give up, either.
all i want is love, and everything that it entails.
pointproven.
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