I can't believe you are no longer living.
>>>
I know the relationship between us hasn't been nearly even amounted to what is considered as a relationship at all, and I know that I lived day to day with the thought of you rarely wandering in my head...but the idea of you permanetly being gone from this world, let alone the world we all live(d) in, well it's simply something I'm finding awefully hard to grasp or make "real" in my head, let alone my life. I never once in the past year and a half have yearned for your presence, your smile, your laugh, or anything of value that someone who is greatly involved in your life might seek...however, knowing that I will never again come in contact with any of those things isn't something I, or anyone who knew you, could ever want to accept. Despite our differences, problems, and very rocky past - you were a good person who was deeply loved by many people. I'm sorry this world no longer seemed fitting to you, and I'm sorry you could no longer find whatever it is you wanted to find. I pray for you, your family, and most of all your mother who in no way could ever deserve losing her son. I don't know why you did what you did, but please know that although you are in a different place, you will always live on in spirit.

RIP Joshua Neil Stallard